I Am Kandy

The Daughter

Dushyanthi Nugawela Wijeyawardena

Dushyanthi Nugawela Wijeyawardena’s father was a Buddhist and her mother a Christian. Yet her parents raised her to respect both Christianity and Buddhism and left her to make the choice.

Interview language: English

17566 listens

10 comments

Select

Listen

Read

Transcript and translations

Language

English

Subjects discussed

He learned his Buddhism from Moffat’s translation of the Bible

I think she was an asset to him. They say behind every successful man, there is a woman. Amma I must say was a real asset to appachchi. Appachchi was seventy-three when he died, but Amma was only fifty, she died of hepatitis because in ‘63 it was something very rare.

My father wasn’t a Christian. His father was a custodian of the Dalada Maligawa, the Temple of the Tooth. But he says he learned his Buddhism from Moffatt’s translation of the Bible.

My grandfather was very disappointed because my mother was a Christian. So I think my father delayed his marriage and he married only once my grandfather had passed away. Though there were a lot of proposals, but I suppose this was his choice.

We were taken to the Maligawa whenever he went, and we did participate in Buddhist activities and my mother was very good — she used to even go down on her knees and worship the… you don’t say priest my father used to always correct me — it’s a Buddhist monk, it’s a monk, not a priest. So he didn’t…so this religion never came between us.

And those days…though he was a minister, the opposition didn’t hark on about these trivial matters of ministers going to church and not like today it was…the government was… it was a very gentle type of government you know. So there was no question of not going to church. He used to go to church… He used to sing hymns. He couldn’t sing in tune and my mother used to nudge him and say don’t sing so loud! And he thought he was singing very well because he used to love to sing.

We used to celebrate Christmas more than Sinhala new year because I feel that in every family the mother’s influence is greater than the father’s. And Santa Claus used to come and stockings used to be hanging out. Then during Easter, they used to hide these Easter eggs and we used to really think that the Easter bunny had come and left the eggs.

And he used to allow nangi and me…we learnt going to CMS, Church Missionary Society, Ladies College . Naturally we did Christianity in school. And once or so I think I’ve carried off the scripture prize also. And we went to the Vajiraramaya on Sundays and we learned our Buddhism there. And he allowed us to choose, what we felt would suit us and what we could believe in.

When my husband died, I was a Buddhist. My mother died three years later. I think that was a turning point and I felt I couldn’t go down on my knees and pray to God and you know… I had decided that I was a Buddhist. But that didn’t interfere, I used to enjoy going and singing hymns and carols, although I didn’t have a good voice. (laughs)

About this portrait

Photographer: Kannan Arunasalam, Menika van der Poorten

Interviewer: Kannan Arunasalam

Assistant: Menika van der Poorten

Editor: Kannan Arunasalam

Recorded: March 5, 2011

First published: August 2, 2023

Last edited: November 7, 2023

Comments

Kannan Arunasalam

March 5, 2011 at 12:24 pm

On the phone to Dushyanthi Nugawela Wijeyawardena, she insisted that I call her "Aunty Dushy". So when we finally met at her Colombo home, we relaxed quickly into the interview. Usually, I ask the interviewee to talk freely. Then I ask questions and at the end, fund out from them if there was anything that they said that they would rather not be public. With Aunty Dushy, she was very open with me from the start and trusted my judgement as to what was best to include. I hope I haven't let her down. Aunty Dushy was warm and welcoming. Straightaway you knew that family was central to her life. As we talked about her family, she brought out album after album of family photographs that her mother, Lousie Erin Nugawela, had beautifully put together. An entire wall was full with more family portraits that Aunty Dushy had collected. There were also things around the house that were connected to her hometown of Kandy. Her father, Edward Alexander ("Eddie") Nugawela, had been a Buddhist, and her grandfather, the Diyawadana Nilame of the Sri Dalada Maligawa, the custodian of the Temple of the Tooth. One of the highest honours for a lay Buddhist to hold in Sri Lanka. Eddie Nugawela fell in love with and married a Christian, but he didn't neglect his Buddhist roots and together with his wife, they encouraged their daughters to respect both beliefs. Eddie Nugawela went further, drawing from both Christianity and Buddhism, finding common ground. He used to tell his two daughters that "he learned about Buddhism from the sermon on the mount". I was aware that this approach of drawing from different faiths and philosophies was shared by Indian leader Mohandas K. Gandhi, who also valued the Christian 'Sermon on the Mount', the Buddhist 'Celestial Song', but was of course himself a Hindu. Interestingly, Gandhi had stayed at Aunty Dushy's ancestral house in Kandy when the Mahatma visited Ceylon in 1927. He had even suggested a name for one of Aunty Dushy's aunts, only a baby at the time: "I am Mohandas, you will be Mohini". Later Eddie Nugawela gave the name 'Mohini' to his daughter as her middle name. Aunty Dushy kept saying she didn't want to sound like she was boasting. But with so much history and wonderful stories from an old Kandyan family, I suppose it's difficult not to think that. On my second visit, I managed to persuade Aunty Dushy to talk about her entrepreneurial achievements. Aunty Dushy started with just 3 sewing machines in her garage, and together with the help of her cousin, built up a successful garment business that now hires over a 1,000 workers and supplies Tommy Hilfiger, GAP and other well known brands. Like her parents, family, faith and tradition, were important things in her life. Aunty Dushy has always lived in Colombo, but the connection to Kandy was strong. She was so proud of her granddaughters in South Africa keeping alive the practice of worshiping elders. It showed that you can be thousands of miles from your hometown, but still feel rooted in its customs and traditions.
Gayathri Fernando

March 5, 2011 at 02:00 pm

Wow ... I love the juxtaposition of the post-colonial references with local Buddhist-Sinhalese cultural flavour ie. Danno Budunge and Gilbert and Sullivan, Olu Pipeela and Irish songs ... these are threads that were interwoven without destrooying the weave in our post-colonial heritage. Why deny it? When I met an Irish friend in Bruxelles she told me that my word-perfect rendering of Galway Bay would reduce her dad to tears! Lovely faces - your photography Kannan is brilliant. The use of music in this interview enhances its nostalgic value - need to rush and make myself a cup of tea now :)
Chathuri Nugawela-Munasinghe

March 6, 2011 at 10:48 pm

So good to see Aunty Dushy sharing family history. Growing up in Kandy, I remember visiting Uncle Sankarakumaran's house with my aunt to watch the Perahera and passing Aunty Mallika Talwatte's house on my way home. What wonderful memories!
Shamil Ranasinghe

April 22, 2011 at 10:31 pm

I have to disagree with one fact in Aunty Dushy's opinion. Royal College is NOT the BEST SCHOOL OF ALL. Trinity IS and WILL BE for the foreseable future :)
(@iam_project) (@iam_project)

December 22, 2012 at 08:20 am

Dushyanthi Nugawela's parents raised the family to respect both Christianity and Buddhism http://t.co/V1rv29DD #lka elders project
Dinty Lawrence Ranasinghe

July 1, 2013 at 04:32 am

Hello Dushyanthi Nugawela, I live in Brisbane Australia, my Facebook timeline is as on the name panel. I also have several Internet sites if you Google me. Around 1955, as a guitarist I helped/accompanied at many school concerts. I wonder where Christine W. is? We met on the train from Jaffna and sang all the way to Colombo. I remember you did a square dance at one of the concerts. I then spotted you organising a concert at the Lionel Wendt Hall in 2000, or thereabouts. Any news of Christine? Regards, Dinty Ranasinghe
Sunil Wijeyesinghe

August 20, 2014 at 02:56 pm

I am the son of the late Violet Boyagoda who was a granddaughter of the late George Edward Paranagama of Paranagama walawwa, Thumpane. The name of Vincent Nugawela appears in Mr. Paranagama's testementary case. Are you connected to my mother by any chance? Thanks, Sunil.
Kaushinie Panditaratne Weerasekare

March 6, 2017 at 03:13 am

Hello Chathuri, yes what wonderful memories tinged with such nostalgia these [portraits] bring -- Uncle Sanka and Mr Dunivila -- both quintessential gentlemen and these videos capture that. The gentleness and sensitivity that Aunty Malika's video captured is utterly fantastic. Jean Arasanayam had been my mother's university mate and wrote to condole me after her death, especially as my father is also well known to her husband. I was so touched as she was a role model. We hear that she changed after '83 and as she says how could it not be so -- it changed all of us. Hiding Tamil neighbours' daughters in our rooms, my brothers trying to save a Tamil man who in desperation had jumped in to the lake to escape the mobs from Colombo who had come in buses, the Buddhist priests on the other side of the lake helping the man to the temple, my own horror to remember even today that the huge blaze I saw while walking to town was that of the tiny oil shop by the Murugan temple run by a jolly, plump elderly Tamil man. The videos all show Kandy as it was ”once upon a time” without bigotry, full of humanity, sharing mixed race and mixed religious famlies without great awareness of that being so. I too share Hindu and Christian relatives going back to my parents' generation. It seems they truly were more multi-cultural though the word was not even invented then perhaps. A wonderful set of videos and audio recordings and a very worthy project. May it also help our country heal faster and treasure what the ealier generations handed over to us.